Dont break your heart, but flirt with the possibility. Louise Suggs, 8. Gone golfin' be back dark thirty. The most important shot in golf is the next one. Ben Hogan, 56. What hot new enhancement pill can you use to beef up your game? My drives aren't always long and straight.. but I can show you what is! The battle that raged inside each players head. Why don't golfers ever eat pie? Nothing it should have ducked. I just got a call my wife has had a life threatening car accident and Im worried I might not make it.. Kurt Philip Behm, The reason they call it golf is that all the other 4 letter words were used up. See photos about 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes from Golf Digest Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges Full Text: Please do not drop your cigarette butts on the ground. Fear shows up when there is an enlargement of the pupils. To find a mans true character, play golf with him. P.G. Knock, knock You shot an eight. What did the golfer say after performing yoga? ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Steve Alten, Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. 150 Puns From All Walks of Life. A great golf course both frees and challenges a golfers mind. Tom Watson, 7. I never learned anything from a match that I won. Bobby Jones, 62. The worst club in my bag is my brain. Chris Perry, 42. No matter how badly you play, always remember its possible to play even worse. Is everything okay?. Important advice: if you golf during the election, make sure you cast your absent-tee ballot! Because he walked into the wrong club! Ellis Parker Butler, Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. What do you call a blonde at a golf course? Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. 3. Don't worry to do dirty jobs. I know what to look for. John excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: Hey Don, come here. If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, then the . Ana Claudia Antunes, If you think its hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. Wanna be my caddy? The grass is clean, a lawn laundry that wipes away the mud, the insect, the bramble, nettle, and thistle, an Eezy-wipe lawn where nothing of life, dirty and glorious, remains. How can you tell which golfer is a womanizer? Golf is the easiest game in the world. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls." You're more beautiful than a hundred pink flamingos on a golf course. Any birdie will do. Golf Quotes About Life 22. Answer: Roarin Mcilroy. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if youre not good at them. Roy Tin Cup McAvoy, the greatest that never was. Wodehouse, 31. Ben Hogan. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you. 3. Andy who? As he approached the threesome, he said Hey guys, do you mind if I play through. If we weren't, we'd take up a less infuriating hobby, like knitting. Don Carter Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart." - Arthur Daley. Enjoy! 2. Always keep learning. 2023, 35 BEST Lionel Leo Messi Quotes (About Life, Work, and Football That Will Inspire You), 53 Cristiano Ronaldo Motivational Quotes (About Football, Hard Work, Life, and Family), Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. Noah. And three, have a passion for what youre doing. Juli Inkster, 28. Wodehouse, A great golfers mtier is his or her golfing skill, coupled with the mastery of good sportsmanship, rendering him or her an ambassador for the sport. "The most important shot in golf is the next one." - Ben Hogan "I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators." - Gerald R. Ford "The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie." - Mickey Mantle "To find a man's true character, play golf with him." - P.G. My drives aren't always long and straight. Steve Bann, It is surely quite superfluous to mention / To a person who has been here half an hour / That Golf is what engrosses the attention / Of the people, with an all-absorbing power. What do you jot down if you dont remember if you hit a 6 or a 7? Bye Bye Birdie. Who do golfers pay tribute to on the 4th of July? Why are golf and sex so similar? 5. Robert Fuller Murray, Be a mind beater-not a ball beater. Why are computers such naturally good golfers? There are no absolutes in golf. Why is Hearts a golfers worst card game? Instead, here's a great clip of Chi Chi talking about ladies he sees golfing. If you dont take it seriously, its no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. You wont be able to keep your head down long enough. See more ideas about golf humor, golf, humor. Mickey Mantle, Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course the space between your ears. A smart shot is when you dont have the guts to try it. Phil Mickelson, 4. "The most important shot in golf is the next one." Ian Fleming, I drove a golf ball into the air / It fell to earth, I knew not where / For, so swiftly it flew, the sight / Could not follow it in its flight. He hauls off and whacks onebig hitter, the Lamalong, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. P.G. / They havent turned up, and I doubt if they will. What do you call a blonde at the driving range? If you want to share these funny golf quotes pictures on social media like Fb, Insta, WhatsApp, or Twitter, you can also do that. Please read here for more information. 3. In a way, this quote is a stand-in for the entire volume of comedic wit and great golf quotes in Caddyshack. Your email address will not be published. Sunday Service. Of course, after painting the Mona Lisa, you'll likely soon be back to bleeding. He sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The worst day of mini golf beats the best day of work. Im going to wash my balls, you want yours washed, too?, My arms are tired, I had so many strokes.. What does a woman do with her asshole before sex? Dirt your body. Golf got its name because all of the other four-letter words were taken. Use these pick up lines to your advantage in starting a chat with your guy or girl. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night? The next minute youre painting the Mona Lisa.. Grizzly bear droppings have small bells, golf-gloves, sunglasses and other similar golf items in them and they usually smell like pepper spray. Two men were playing a round golf, one of the men was just about to make his golf swing when he noticed a large funeral group passing by on a nearby road. Damn, my shaft's all bent. The little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. Ben Hogan, Golf has some drawbacks. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: az11107, jemallor, 21ob, dudedudester1, racke78, mcsheehy54, konczalangelia, fourq2. Hey, were you just promoted from Army captain because I'm always up for getting another major? Which pro golfers can jump higher than the flag? So, what are your thoughts? They say golf is like life, but dont believe them. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I cant play it. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? See you in the Email! Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. A golfer has to train his swing on the practice tee, then trust it on the course. Dr. Bob Rotella, 49. Golf is a game invented by God to punish people who retire early. Whats one tip all golfers should follow to improve their game? 4. Were done with golf puns and jokes, but well leave you with a bonus the top 10 not actually dirty golf innuendos: What are some of your favorite golf puns? ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, 15+ Easy and Funny Animal Riddles for Kids (with answers) 2023, 79 HILARIOUS Holiday Jokes For A Jolly Mood, 49 Jokes about Teachers and Students (that work like Science: Always get a reaction), 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! In the Golf of Mexico! Happy Gilmore. David Brenner, For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. I'm gonna pound you like I do these range balls. Make your partner smile with these adult golf jokes. About 160 yards was his reply. 1. Go to the golf course. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Full Text: And yet another day has passed and I did not use algebra once. How do you know you should be a golfer? 2. Recently, I have discovered that Blogging can be quite a useful way, to share. 23+ Revolutionary Sayings From Corrie Ten Boom | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 52+ Knowledgeable Sayings On Cosmetologist | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 43+ Motivating Sayings On Hungry | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, TOP 50 Inspirational Golf Quotes & Sayings | Download Images, 58+ Funny Tennis Quotes | Free Images & Pictures Download, TOP 50 Funny Sports Quotes | HD Images & Pictures Download. Golfing is like masturbation, sex, or pooping?! For you only, all the funny golf quotes images have been created that you are going to explore now. What does a golfer do on his day off? G.K. Chesterton, I dont like to watch golf on television because I cant stand people who whisper. Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain, the famous wordsmith who also said golf is a good walk spoiled. Full Text: Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be? It took one afternoon on the golf course. Hank Aaron, owner of 755 home runs and one amazing golf quote. Photo: Shutterstock. Golf Skirts & Golf Skorts Stylish, Fun & Comfortable. I just finished a round of golf, wanna be my 19th hole today? I had a hole in nothing. Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Bobby Jones, Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. Don't dirt your soul. I have always had a drive that pushed me to try for perfection, and golf is a game that perfection stays just out of reach. Betsy Rawls, 12. You hit down to make the ball go up. The smile looks really good on you. Get a Free Golf Handicap in the 18Birdies App. If we . I'm still working on my approach, but I think I have a pretty good swing. Lift your head and spread your legs. Youre shooting for the green, and yet, in the end you find yourself in the hole. Your email address will not be published. Fantastic 4-some. 7. As in, surf the web, gather knowledge, and share them. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it's always possible to get worse. Dave Hill, My swing is then adjusted / as words take off and fly / And landing safe beyond the trap / to make the devil cry. The formula for success is simple: practice and concentration, then more practice and more concentration. Babe Didrikson Zaharias, 19. For more great quotes on life, golf and from books and authors, check out this site and this site. fodrizzle. 19th Hole Bonus Quote: While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, Its golf balls., The blond looked at him compassionately and said: Oh you poor thing. Boo who? The next pint in the clubhouse is on me! Bobby Darnel, If you want to hook a ball turn both hands toward the right side on the grip or shaft. Draw a mental image of where you want it to go and then eliminate everything else from your mind, except how you are going to get the ball into that preferred spot. Sam Snead, 46. nay I my child, and eke, oh! Get a Free Golf Handicap in the 18Birdies App. What do you call Jessica Alba joining you and your buddies for a round of golf? Two rounds a day are plenty. In case he got a hole in one! What kind of model is Paige Spiranac? What's the difference between a golfball and a Nissan? 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. Ben Hogan, I dont play golf to feel bad, I play bad golf, but I feel good. You must remember not to remember to think. Joey Adams, A well-hit golf shot is a feeling that goes up the shaft, right through your hands, and into your heart. 2. So what are you waiting for? Youre too out-of-shape to play in the church softball league.
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